Monday, May 27, 2013

"The Sami Callihan Story" - Part 4

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

The following night on Raw, Callihan walks ahead of Regal to the ring. As they get there, Regal immediately takes a microphone and addresses Callihan:

Since your reprehensible actions last night, I notice you haven’t answered any calls or messages. You haven’t wanted to talk in private, so I’m forced to ask you for an explanation now as to why you hurt Mr. Kingston last night. We were making progress towards turning you away from a path of violence and injuring--

Callihan snatches the microphone from Regal.

No. We were making progress towards me making up for all of your mistakes! I came here to make my own mark and with my own mission. Mr. Regal, I admire everything you’ve done in this business, good and bad. It inspired me to take control of my own life and career and be my own man. It also helped me to see that guys like yourself, Alex Riley, and Zack Ryder made their own way, politics be damned. Kofi Kingston is one of those guys, too - but he decided he’d rather be this company’s puppet rather than be his own man. I wanted to leave him out of it, but he chose to get in the way...

Callihan gets in Regal’s face.

...Just like you chose to take me off of my own path and try to put me on yours. I respect you and everything you’ve done, Mr. Regal, but this is your opportunity to make your own way instead of dragging me down that path. I will no longer follow where you’re going because I have my own way--

Regal now gets in the face of Callihan

You have your own way to make to ruin! You’re sorely undisciplined and you lack any kind of focus towards success! Your judgment of who’s worthy and who’s held everyone down has clouded your judgment to the point where you’ll never make it toward a championship! I’m trying to keep you from failing in your mission of success, which isn’t what your mother or your best friend would--

Callihan suddenly boots Regal in the face, snapping at the mention of those who have passed. He viciously beats Regal down to the mat and, after suplexing Regal over his head, applies the Stretch Muffler to Regal! Backstage officials and referees rush down to the ring to pull Callihan off of Regal before he can permanently injure Regal, but no one can stop Callihan. Regal’s career looks to be coming to an end - until the Miz runs to the ring from backstage! The Miz attacks Callihan, separating him from Regal as he pounds on the man who put him out for two months. Callihan finally retreats with a look of shock on his face that The Miz has returned. Meanwhile, officials and referees tend to Regal while commentators try their best to make sense of this chaotic scene. The sight of Miz screaming at Callihan from the ring fades to black before a commercial break.

The following week on Raw, The Miz emerges to ringside to address the Universe:

Gotta tell you, it feels good to be back, especially since I wasn’t sure there for a second if I would be. After Pigpen - woops, I mean Callihan - got a hold of my knee after Extreme Rules, I spent the entire time from being carried out of this ring to the next day waking up in the hospital wondering if I would ever be here again. I was relieved when the doctor told me that yeah, I was hurt, but that it could have been a lot worse. It was a relief to know I had the means to make it back it to this ring, and seeing that filthy hairball carry out his “crusade” of who’s been “held down”? I couldn’t wait to get back here! You guys are great motivation, but so is seeing Callihan walk around here like he’s earned something.

Callihan walks out from the back and Miz spots him immediately.

Yeah, you heard me you dirty little troll. You walk around here like you’ve earned something, but you haven’t. All you’ve done is hurt people on your way to “ending the era” of the “spoiled superstar.” Well, troll-boy, this is your lucky night. You haven’t earned a damn thing, but I’m still gonna give you a chance to continue your creepy crusade...

Miz holds up the US Title.

MIZ: well as a shot at this. SummerSlam’s coming up sooner than later. This may be a little backwards, but then so’s my whole career! I’m challenging you to a United States Championship match at SummerSlam. Just me and you, Callihan - to see if you’re any good or if you’re all whine and no talent!

The camera cuts to Callihan, who’s nodding and grinning. The announcers confirm that the match is made for SummerSlam.

The following week on Raw, The Miz defeats Damien Sandow in non-title action. After the bout, Callihan rushes the ring and attacks The Miz. The scene is almost a scary replay of the first attack as Callihan nearly destroys Miz before going for the Stretch Muffler. However, referees intervene and are able to stop Callihan from doing any lasting damage. The Miz is left in pain but with no lasting damage this time as Callihan departs, scowling at Miz.

Later the same week on Smackdown, Renee Young catches up with The Miz backstage, who laments:

Is it just me, Renee, or does this troll Callihan never do anything face to face? Every time we turn around, Callihan's trying to put out someone like me or Kofi or Regal! What this shows me is that Callihan can't cut it here because he can't get the job done in the ring when it counts. And if he can't make it here without that, then it's about time someone shows him the door.

Days later on Raw, the roles are reversed. After Callihan defeats Jinder Mahal, The Miz takes his opportunity to run down to ringside and get a piece of Callihan. Referees separate the two after an even exchange, but not even the referees can prevent what becomes a wild melee. Ultimately, Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox emerge from the back:

Excuse me! EXCUSE ME!! You two already have a match coming up at SummerSlam! Jeopardizing that with this behavior is inexcusable! You two want to get your hands on each other?! You'll have to wait until your match at SummerSlam...because if either one of you lays a finger on the other between now and then, you'll BOTH BE FIRED!

Miz and Callihan both look at Vickie Guerrero with death in their eyes. The hatred in their eyes is even worse when they turn and stare each other down as we fade to commercial.

The following week on Raw, Callihan comes to the ring to give his thoughts on the developments of the prior week and what's to come:

So, Miz wants to make a big deal about whether or not I hit him from behind or confront him face-to-face. Here's a breaking development coming through the newswire, Miz - I don't care. I don't give a damn if we're nose to nose or if I jump you in a parking lot and slam your preety face in a car door. People like you just deserve to be put out of this business and out of our misery. Kofi? He should be above this based just on talent alone, but he's too busy towing the company line. Putting him out is just a mercy killing. Regal? Wanted me to become him at the expense of everything I've sacrificed to get here. But you,'re still the primary target. For waltzing in here and having everything handed to you, you deserve to be eliminated. And I don't care how I have to get it done. But I'll tell you what - you're so concerned with whether or not I can "get the job done"? Ending your career would be wonderful...but so would taking your United States Championship and proving to a pretty-boy punk like you that I am, at the end of the day, better than you.

The following week on Raw, Miz is asked backstage by Josh Matthews about his match in six days at SummerSlam defending the US Championship against Sami Callihan:

What more do you need to know than what we've all seen, Josh? That degenerate coward's jumped me from behind twice now. The first time it happened, I wasn't 100% sure I'd ever make it back to the WWE Universe again. Only to have him try it again? Why? Because that filthy little troll can't succeed here otherwise, that's why - and I'll prove--

Callihan suddenly stops as the camera swings over to reveal Sami Callihan now in Miz's face. Referees arrive on the scene, ready to separate the two as Callihan speaks:

The first time I left you for dead, it should have stayed that way. But now, I'm glad you made it back. I said it would start with you, and it will in six days. That's when I'll beat on one, face to face., no excuses...and prove I belong here [points to the United States Championship] by taking that.

Referees are imploring Callihan and Miz not to let things escalate as Callihan walks away.

Six days later at SummerSlam, the match between Miz and Callihan is a heated, personal contest. Callihan spends most of the match punishing Miz's knee and taunting him. (At one point, Callihan points and laughs at The Miz as a referee asks Miz if he wants to give up. The announcers point out how "sadistic this degenerate Callihan is.") Finally, Miz mounts a comeback and has the upper hand when Callihan hauls off and spits at Miz, who snaps and completely loses his temper. After pounding on Callihan, Miz locks in the Figure-4 and refuses to let go of the hold despite the referee pleading before counting to 5. The Miz retains the US Championship by disqualification, but it's crystal clear the issue is far from settled.


Monday, May 20, 2013

"The Sami Callihan Story" - Part 3

Part 1
Part 2

The following night on Raw after Payback, the same scene as the night before nearly repeats itself as Callihan defeats Zack Ryder with the Stretch Muffler. As the bell rings to end the match, Regal stares at Callihan who releases the hold immediately after the bell rings. Regal enters the ring and grins at Callihan. Regal pats him on the shoulder as they leave the ring.

The following week on Raw, those same actions happen again, only this time with Alex Riley tapping. Again, Callihan lets go after the bell and, again, Regal shows how proud he is. The announcers comment, as they did the week prior, about how Callihan seems to be improving his focus under Regal’s control.

The next week on Raw, Josh Matthews catches up with Regal and Callihan in the back. Matthews asks Callihan about retaining his composure the last couple weeks, noting that he had not tried to hurt either Ryder or Riley. Callihan goes to answer, but Regal speaks for his charge:

D’you see how well Mr. Callihan is coming along? His focus is no longer in hurting those he feels not have earned their particular stature. The important thing is working up the ladder to be prepared for any competitor, and that’s what Mr. Callihan--

Regal stops, as his sentence - and train of thought - are interrupted by Kofi Kingston:

You know, I’m glad your boy’s learning to get along with others a little better. But I haven’t forgotten in the slightest how he tried to put me out. Not only that, but I never did get--

Callihan snatches the microphone out of Kingston’s hand:

“Never did get” what, Kofi? Your “revenge”? Your “second chance”? You ever think that was one of the reasons you’re even still wrestling - is because you deserve better than you’ve gotten? I’ve told you that, but apparently you don’t feel like listening. That’s fine - Since you want to be put away so badly, you can have your “second chance” at Money in the Bank coming up in two weeks. Maybe you can share stories with your friend Miz about how it feels to be watching from the sidelines!

Kingston and Callihan begin yelling at each other as referees arrive on the scene to help Regal keep Callihan and Kingston separated. After the commercial break, Michael Cole announces the match is made for Money in the Bank.

The following week on Main Event, Callihan dispatches Drew McIntyre with the Stretch Muffler. After the match, Callihan releases the hold but looks uncertain whether he wants to go for it again. Regal steps in to talk Callihan out of it and the two exchange another tense stare that the announcers notice that Callihan may be “reverting back to his old ways.”

Four days later, Kingston and Callihan meet at Money in the Bank. After a little over 10 minutes of action, Callihan makes Kofi tap to the Stretch Muffler. After the bell rings, Callihan refuses to let go of the hold. At all. Regal and several referees try to pull him off, but to no avail. It is announced that the decision is reversed and Kingston is declared the winner by disqualification as Regal finally physically pulls Callihan off of Kingston. Regal screams at Callihan in the ring, who simply scowls at Regal before leaving the ring. Regal follows Callihan to the back, admonishing him the whole way.


Tuesday, May 14, 2013

"The Sami Callihan Story" - Part 2

Part 1

The following week on Raw, Callihan emerges and goes to the ring to explain himself after his attack on The Miz:


I made a mistake in my actions last week. I made in injuring The Miz, and for that...I'm sorry. I don't regret attacking the little poster boy for the hypocritical and the privileged, no. He has what I need to show the WWE and all of you that I belonged here from day one. He has what I need to climb up the ladder and displace the rest of the spoiled Superstars like John Cena and Sheamus. He has what I should have - the United States Championship.

And because I was rash and impatient, now I have to wait until he finally grows the guts to climb back in here with me so I can take it. I'm only sorry that I delayed the inevitable and gave The Miz an excuse not to face me in this--

Callihan is interrupted by Kofi Kingston's music. Kingston stands on the ramp to address Callihan:

Hey! Look, I get it. You're the next big thing and you should already be at the top of then heap. Most of us-all of us who lace up the bots have that goal. We also understand we have to put in the work to get there. Scoring win after win is impressive, I'll give you that. But injuring The Miz like you did? That won't fly around here, understand me? He and I were never the best of buddies, but your actions and what you did to him was the wrong way to go, my man.

Callihan studies Kingston momentarily, then the light bulb goes off.

You know, you seem pretty confident about how things work around here and in laying down the law. I'll tell you what "sheriff" - I'll give you a couple days. To get ready and meet me in this ring and show me "how things work" around here. Why don't have our day in court on Main Event?

Kingston nods and accepts. The announcers hype up the match set for Main Event. They also announce that Miz has suffered a partial MCL tear and maybe out for the next three months. The announcers state no decision

The match between Callihan and Kingston is a spirited affair with both men gutting it out, struggling to make their point. After a little over 15 minutes, Callihan taps Kofi with Muffler. Calihan refuses to break the hold after the match is over and the referee counts, threatening to reverse the decision. Callihan releases the hold at 4 after match and walks away from Kofi, raising his hands as if to signify that he's done here. Kofi's knee is sore, but he is able to walk away wondering why Callihan didn't injure him as well.

Backstage at Raw the following week, Callihan is backstage being interviewed by Josh Matthews. When asked why he didn't do to Kingston what he did to The Miz, Callihan responds:

Kofi, I spared you because, despite being an 'ambassador' for this company, you've still never really been given a chance to take the ball and run. You show up for all these Be A Star appearances and everything else they need you for, but you haven't had opportunity handed to you on a platter like Sheamus, or John Cena, or Ryback...or especially The Miz. You've never--

Kofi interrupts Callihan backstage:

“Spared” me? I’m the second one you’ve tried to put on the shelf since you got here. And this time, I’m not waiting for any Main Event. I’m looking to take care of this NOW.

Callihan goes to accept the challenge, but William Regal walks into the shot (in front of Callihan) and approaches Kingston:

Now, listen Kofi. I understand wanting a piece of this ruffian, but if you go down there and take him on in this condition, your career may end for sure. This toerag is tailor-made--

Regal whips around to face Callihan.

--for me to teach some respect to in that ring.

Callihan's look is part fear, part respect, and part "I really don't want to do this." He nearly begs to be let out of the match as the show cuts to commercial.

The match begins a few segments later. Callihan goes to shake Regal's hand and Regal bats it away, getting in Callihan's face about injuring the Miz and nearly Kingston as well. Callihan pleads with Regal, yelling over and over: "Don't make me do this!" Regal, game face on, locks up.

The match is a battle of attrition, but ultimately Callihan gets the win, tapping Regal with the Stretch Muffler. As the bell rings, Callihan immediately releases the hold. He checks on Regal afterward, making sure he is okay. Regal eyes Callihan curiously and assures him he will be fine.

Backstage, Matthews catches up with Callihan about his reluctance to face Regal and his refusal to hurt him:

William Regal never had anything handed to him. If there's one man to respect in this company, it's the same man that this company has treated like the dirt on its boot for 15 years - William Regal. I'm not about to hurt him or treat him otherwise--

Regal limps by backstage with one of the trainers. He stops in front of Callihan and gets in his face. He then tells Callihan:

We need to talk, young man.

As Regal walks away, Callihan grins at Regal as scene fades to black. The following SmackDown, Callihan takes down Curt Hawkins. William Regal, with a slight but noticeable limp, watches on silently from the entrance ramp.

The next week on Raw, Sami Callihan emerges from the back - and is followed by William Regal to the ring. As the two get to the ring, Callihan looks proud as Regal talks:

It’s well-documented that I’ve never exactly played by the rules. I can respect great competition and, in my years as a competitor, that’s what I’ve come to respect above all else. However, I’ve had to fight and scrap for most of my life leading up to that. Rules may not mean much when your very survival is at stake. I can understand both ways of thinking, for sure.

I see both of those mindsets here in young Mr. Callihan. I see a man driven to be the best but, because of the obstacles that the world has placed in front of him on his way here, sees it as more of a mission to continue his very existence, let alone any success this lad may be able to achieve. And he certainly has the skill to be able to achieve that success; he simply needs temperament. Guidance. An angel on his shoulder to let him know when to be honorable as well as a devil to instruct him to finish his fellow man off. After seeing a kindred spirit in Mr. Callihan, I have decided to be all of those things for him.

Callihan receives the microphone handed to him by Regal.

I told you all last week - If there's one man to respect in this company, it's this man, who’s never had anything handed to him.  He’s been made to look like a buffoon for a decade and a half here, and anyone who knows anything about this man’s history knows he deserves better. I am honored to be taken under his wing and I will come to learn - as will all of you - how far is far enough.
It is announced later that night that Callihan will meet Santino Marella at the YouTube pre-show for Payback six days from then.

At the Payback pre-show, Callihan handily defeats Marella with the Stretch Muffler. After Marella submits, Callihan refuses to break the hold until Regal slides under the bottom rope at the count of four and yells at Callihan, “That’s enough!” Callihan releases the hold on Marella and stares at Regal. The look on Callihan’s face is one of displeasure, but he nods at Regal after a few tense seconds. Callihan then follows Regal to the back.


Tuesday, May 7, 2013

"The Sami Callihan Story" - Part 1

Upon his arrival in WWE shortly after WrestleMania XXIX, Sami Callihan begins rolling through the lower tier of WWE competition each week on Monday Night Raw. None of the matches are destructive demonstrations like the style of Ryback; the matches are competitive, albeit barely. Callihan powers through JTG, Yoshi Tatsu, Primo, Jimmy Uso and Jey Uso in consecutive weeks with power and technical acumen. Each man, one by one, taps to Callihan’s finishing move, the Stretch Muffler submission hold.

Week by week, Cole and Lawler are simultaneously impressed by his ability and weirded out by his darker, silent demeanor. This feeling of uneasiness toward Callihan seems to be punctuated by fear of the unknown, as he has yet to speak to anyone or make known his goals. During each match, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler admit to knowing next to nothing about Callihan.

On WWE Main Event, Callihan takes down and taps out Brodus Clay in an impressive outing. After the match, Callihan's attention is drawn to color commentator The Miz. Callihan points at The Miz and yells, "It's gonna start with you!" The Miz responds with typical bluster, but is also perplexed, as he has no idea what Callihan is raving on about.

The night after Extreme Rules on Raw, The Miz is in the ring verbally dressing down the #1 contender for his US Title, Damien Sandow. As The Miz cracks wise about Sandow, he is interrupted with an industrial-sounding growl:

Are you done yet? Because it’s about time that you and the rest of the WWE “Universe” heard a bitter truth. Not just about me, but about you, too, Miz.

Callihan emerges from the back with his ring gear and leather vest. No music nor videos play for Callihan as he emerges with microphone in hand.

See, I’m the guy this sport...this business...didn’t want. At every turn, my path was obstructed by some obstacle. Whether it was someone else in the locker room with a jealous streak, or a promoter so blinded by dreams of being “the next Vince McMahon” that he can’t be bothered to notice his own roster, there’s always been something standing in my way. I’ve lost both my mother and best friend and rather than give up, I let this become more important than my own life! And everywhere I’ve been, I’ve had the wall put in front of me that I’ve had to tear down. WWE has been different - there are not only walls to tear down, but they’re the tallest and strongest ones yet because of the privileged.

You’re the most shining example, Miz. A reality TV reject given every single opportunity WWE has to offer and then some just because your obnoxious mug made it on MTV. Now you're on every single talk show in the world and being groomed to step in for the “Golden Child,” John Cena. You’ve been handed everything I should have on a silver platter. You didn't slave for it and lose damn near everything like I did. You didn't rely on talent because,honestly, there's none there to count on. This company saw how willing you were to kiss its ass and theirs--

Callihan gestures to the booing crowd.

--and made you a star just like most of the other privileged children in the back.

It's time for the era of the spoiled superstar to come to a violent end - and it's gonna start with you. I've already started dismantling this pathetic roster, but now it's time to take this whole damn place apart. It's time for heroes the Universe can admire instead of preening, pretty-boy hypocrites like you.

The Miz studies Callihan as he summons his trademark bluster. However, there's an almost uneasy feeling in the back of his head that registers on his face.

Really? Really? Really! So we’re absolutely nothing alike, huh? Well, with me somewhat dressed professionally and you looking like you just emerged from under the bridge after eating one of the three Billy Goat’s Gruff, I’m thankful for that. But, about me being the guy that got everything handed to him? For someone who claims to love this business as much as you do, apparently you don’t know much of what goes on around here. See, I was the guy that got the worst of it around here because I came from “reality TV.” You can ask Vince McMahon, you can ask John Morrison, you can ask anyone in the back! Hell--

The Miz gestures to John Bradshaw Layfield, sitting at commentary.

--you can ask that guy sitting there! You can ask anyone in the back how “easy” I had it. They all hated my guts and couldn’t wait to see me fail. Only, I didn’t. I’m still here - former WWE Champion, former Intercontinental, former Tag champion, and current reigning and defending US Champion! All because I stuck to my guns and let my talent - which I must have some of if I made it this far - carry me past all of that. You want to talk how we’re nothing like each other? Come to think of it, we’re a lot more alike than you--

Callihan cuts him off, roaring:

I am NOTHING like you!

Callihan attacks the Miz, punching and kicking him to the ground. The Miz fights back, but gets leveled with a spear tackle. Writhing in the ring, Miz is stunned as Callihan goes outside for a chair. Callihan slides the chair in the ring and picks up Miz for a powerbomb onto the chair! Callihan then locks in the Stretch Muffler on The Miz, who is feverishly tapping. Backstage officials (Arn Anderson, Fit Finlay, and Jamie Noble) are out with referees and it takes almost half-dozen men to finally pry Callihan off of The Miz. Callihan backs up the aisle, staring a hole through The Miz the entire time as as EMTs check on the US Champion, who cannot put weight on the knee injured by Callihan. The incident is replayed on SmackDown. 


Friday, May 3, 2013

"The Sami Callihan Story" - Forward

So, I know it’s been quiet here lately. Too quiet. Because I’ve been working on a couple things, but one in particular that I’ll share here starting Monday.

I should preface this by saying I’ve recently given up watching WWE. Not wrestling, mind you...just WWE. I find their particular product to be stale, boring, and lazily written and I’ve waited over a year and a half for them to change that. And I lost my patience. And I discovered a TON of other wrestling companies and promotions out there (thanks you so much, internet!) doing it so much better than the supposed “industry leader” that I’ve shifted toward them.

There’s a guy out there on the indy scene I really dig, and that’s Sami Callihan. He’s a rough-house style wrestler who’s damn good at what he does in that ring. He certainly has a different look (as you can see to the left). And, my God, can he talk. And, of course, as soon as I really starting getting into this guy, rumor spreads like wildfire that he’s being signed by WWE.

So, thinking about that and how lackluster the WWE product has been lately, and about how I dig this guy’s character, an idea so simple it’s astonishing hit me like the proverbial kick in the nuts:

What if Sami Callihan did sign with WWE?

I haven’t written a good wrestling, as in if I were writing the a good while. So, I decided to book Callihan’s first 6-7 months in WWE. As realistically as I could, using just the current roster and keeping it within the paramaters of WWE’s current “PG” product. With a particular story to be told, using only a handful of performers/characters to focus just on Callihan and his story. I think I did a decent job of it, but then I’m, of course, a little biased.

However, you can certainly judge for yourself because the entire story is going up in a 5-6 week serial (a chapter for each month, give or take a week or two) starting Monday. Right during Raw, the longest running weekly block of boredom on television. So, if you’re watching the show and maybe want to read how things could have been? Stay tuned here on Monday nights. Starting May 6.