Tuesday, May 7, 2013

"The Sami Callihan Story" - Part 1

Upon his arrival in WWE shortly after WrestleMania XXIX, Sami Callihan begins rolling through the lower tier of WWE competition each week on Monday Night Raw. None of the matches are destructive demonstrations like the style of Ryback; the matches are competitive, albeit barely. Callihan powers through JTG, Yoshi Tatsu, Primo, Jimmy Uso and Jey Uso in consecutive weeks with power and technical acumen. Each man, one by one, taps to Callihan’s finishing move, the Stretch Muffler submission hold.

Week by week, Cole and Lawler are simultaneously impressed by his ability and weirded out by his darker, silent demeanor. This feeling of uneasiness toward Callihan seems to be punctuated by fear of the unknown, as he has yet to speak to anyone or make known his goals. During each match, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler admit to knowing next to nothing about Callihan.

On WWE Main Event, Callihan takes down and taps out Brodus Clay in an impressive outing. After the match, Callihan's attention is drawn to color commentator The Miz. Callihan points at The Miz and yells, "It's gonna start with you!" The Miz responds with typical bluster, but is also perplexed, as he has no idea what Callihan is raving on about.

The night after Extreme Rules on Raw, The Miz is in the ring verbally dressing down the #1 contender for his US Title, Damien Sandow. As The Miz cracks wise about Sandow, he is interrupted with an industrial-sounding growl:

Are you done yet? Because it’s about time that you and the rest of the WWE “Universe” heard a bitter truth. Not just about me, but about you, too, Miz.

Callihan emerges from the back with his ring gear and leather vest. No music nor videos play for Callihan as he emerges with microphone in hand.

See, I’m the guy this sport...this business...didn’t want. At every turn, my path was obstructed by some obstacle. Whether it was someone else in the locker room with a jealous streak, or a promoter so blinded by dreams of being “the next Vince McMahon” that he can’t be bothered to notice his own roster, there’s always been something standing in my way. I’ve lost both my mother and best friend and rather than give up, I let this become more important than my own life! And everywhere I’ve been, I’ve had the wall put in front of me that I’ve had to tear down. WWE has been different - there are not only walls to tear down, but they’re the tallest and strongest ones yet because of the privileged.

You’re the most shining example, Miz. A reality TV reject given every single opportunity WWE has to offer and then some just because your obnoxious mug made it on MTV. Now you're on every single talk show in the world and being groomed to step in for the “Golden Child,” John Cena. You’ve been handed everything I should have on a silver platter. You didn't slave for it and lose damn near everything like I did. You didn't rely on talent because,honestly, there's none there to count on. This company saw how willing you were to kiss its ass and theirs--

Callihan gestures to the booing crowd.

--and made you a star just like most of the other privileged children in the back.

It's time for the era of the spoiled superstar to come to a violent end - and it's gonna start with you. I've already started dismantling this pathetic roster, but now it's time to take this whole damn place apart. It's time for heroes the Universe can admire instead of preening, pretty-boy hypocrites like you.

The Miz studies Callihan as he summons his trademark bluster. However, there's an almost uneasy feeling in the back of his head that registers on his face.

Really? Really? Really! So we’re absolutely nothing alike, huh? Well, with me somewhat dressed professionally and you looking like you just emerged from under the bridge after eating one of the three Billy Goat’s Gruff, I’m thankful for that. But, about me being the guy that got everything handed to him? For someone who claims to love this business as much as you do, apparently you don’t know much of what goes on around here. See, I was the guy that got the worst of it around here because I came from “reality TV.” You can ask Vince McMahon, you can ask John Morrison, you can ask anyone in the back! Hell--

The Miz gestures to John Bradshaw Layfield, sitting at commentary.

--you can ask that guy sitting there! You can ask anyone in the back how “easy” I had it. They all hated my guts and couldn’t wait to see me fail. Only, I didn’t. I’m still here - former WWE Champion, former Intercontinental, former Tag champion, and current reigning and defending US Champion! All because I stuck to my guns and let my talent - which I must have some of if I made it this far - carry me past all of that. You want to talk how we’re nothing like each other? Come to think of it, we’re a lot more alike than you--

Callihan cuts him off, roaring:

I am NOTHING like you!

Callihan attacks the Miz, punching and kicking him to the ground. The Miz fights back, but gets leveled with a spear tackle. Writhing in the ring, Miz is stunned as Callihan goes outside for a chair. Callihan slides the chair in the ring and picks up Miz for a powerbomb onto the chair! Callihan then locks in the Stretch Muffler on The Miz, who is feverishly tapping. Backstage officials (Arn Anderson, Fit Finlay, and Jamie Noble) are out with referees and it takes almost half-dozen men to finally pry Callihan off of The Miz. Callihan backs up the aisle, staring a hole through The Miz the entire time as as EMTs check on the US Champion, who cannot put weight on the knee injured by Callihan. The incident is replayed on SmackDown. 


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