The Revival of Abraham Washington

(This, by the way? Is post #300 on this site. This is *so* Sparta.)

So, Abraham Washington - you know, dude who made the Kobe Bryant crack about Kobe Bryant on Raw? Yeah, he's been canned. The only surprise is how long it took WWE to do it, especially considering AW's "gracious" exit rant on Twitter.

But, there's hope for AW yet. Especially if TNA is smart. Because if they are, he's their next signee.

No, seriously. Follow me for just a second.

All the attention in the wrestling world - and even some in mainstream circles - is on AW right now. For all the wrong reasons, mind you, but it's there. And it's not unprecedented that, with the right amount of legitimate heat, there's money to be made in wrestling. Like it or not, Wrestling's Most Wanted are proving that as I type this. So, TNA should take that forward-thinking example and strike while the iron is hot.

Here's how this could work: TNA hires Washington as a manager. You could put him with virtually anyone (although Zima Ion stands out as a good immediate candidate). Give him the live ringside mic. Give him a line that he can't cross with certain subjects on the other side of that line. (Do I even have to say that rape is one of them?) And then let him dance right on that line week after week. Like Paul E did when he was still a manager in ECW.





The moment it's announced that TNA has signed Abraham Washington, the groans begin. "Oh, good Lord, what is this guy gonna say here?" He already has the attention. And whether people will admit it in public or not, they'll tune in to see what AW's gonna say. Let him be as edgy as he wants (within reason) and keep people hooked. Give viewers a reason to have that "did he seriously just say that?!" reaction week in and week out.

Against their better judgment, they're hooked to tuning in. Whether people are fascinated by the train wreck or whether they start enjoying his rants and he actually gets over, more people will be paying attention to the show - and, as a result, the product that TNA produces.

In this day and age where people seem to be actively looking for reasons to get outraged? Give them what they want. Let them get outraged. Let everybody talk about how despicable Washington is for making that rape joke. Let everybody talk about how TNA is so "low class" to sign the guy that made said joke. And then sit back and let the money roll in. Millions of dollars, millions of dollars.

World of Hurt - Review

WWE Tough Enough ended earlier this week, but another wrestling-oriented reality show is still going.

The show is, of course, “World of Hurt” - and for more information on the premise, you can refer back here. At the time, the idea was to do a weekly review of the show...if possible.

The ”if” came from the fact that the show only airs in Canada (on The Cave network, to be exact). There are no real avenues here in the U.S. to be able to see it on a regular basis. However, the first three episodes were available for viewing, and that’s whet we’ll cover here. All in one shot.

Before we do, consider this your official SPOILER WARNING. If you’re able to see the show and don’t want details about the first three episodes that have already aired (including some not-so-pretty pictures), stop right now and hit the “Back” button. I am no longer responsible from this point forward if you read or saw something you shouldn’t have and get mad about it.

A couple caveats about the show already make it stand out just a little more. First, as you may remember, there is no competition here. No big cash prize or a WWE contract is on the line. Rather, ten hopefuls in an advanced class at trainer Lance Storm’s Wrestling Academy are here to learn the finer points of sports entertainment pro wrestling in an effort to step up their game to make it to the big time. Second, because of that the show is a total of ten episodes for a reason; each episode focuses on a particular trainee (in no discernible order) during their advanced class. That leads us to third, each episode runs the entire duration of the training, culminating in the live event each had to participate in and their post-course evaluation from Storm as to why each one has not made it yet.

Episode 01 concentrates on Australia’s Irena, who “always wanted to be a television star” - an attitude that doesn’t endear her to fellow trainees Dylan Knight (who points out how Irena is not cut out to be in this business), “The French Stallion” Tom La Ruffa (who thinks that because she’s a girl that she simply doesn’t belong, period) and Tenille Tayla (who thinks Irena comes off as being “above” her fellow classmates and not knowing how to be “one of the boys”).

Irena possibly proves them right at approximately 4:45 in when she waayy undershoots a simple back bump:



Owitch. The look on Storm’s face tells that story.

Having to overcome this for the rest of the show , Irena draws sympathy from her friend Taya Valkyrie as well as tempered guidance from Storm himself. She also continues to draw ire from several other trainees who see her as a “diva” (not a WWE performer, mind you) who’s milking her own incompetence for commiseration.

Irena doesn’t win any of them over when she shows up for the live event with minutes to go before her match instead of when she was supposed to – which was to be hours before the event was even supposed to start. Irena’s opponent for the night, KC Spinelli, gets in to a shouting match with her, immediately casting doubt as to whether they can work together on the match itself to pull it off. They do, but it certainly ain’t pretty.

In the end, Lance explains that she hasn’t made it to the “big time” yet because she needs to leave the drama outside - which I have to agree with. Irena is too concerned with being a star than being a wrestler. In this business, you have to hold both in at least equal regard to be able to achieve that stardom, or else your whole character and act becomes transparent and any respect gained by putting in the hard work to perfect your craft is nonexistent.

Deryck Crosse doesn’t have that problem in Episode 02. Crosse is certainly dedicated to making it. So much so that he takes the idea of having a character that will cause an audience reaction to heart and creates...wait for it...the “Prince of Perversion”. Of course, this guy just had to be from Florida, too.

Yes, it’s exactly what it would sound like. Crosse gets his point across - or his character “over”, so to speak - by doing things like, say...this:



And that’s to his friend, T-Bone (no, seriously). To someone he doesn’t know, like “The French Stallion”? Even worse:



Some of the trainees get a little homophobic or, at the very least, feel like they had this done to them against their will. Stallion has to work with this guy at the live event, and now he’s uncomfortable as all hell! To his credit, Storm advises Crosse carefully; he tells Crosse that he has to be careful with a character like this in so far as not driving the audience out the door, but that it could still work if he is able to commit to it.

Crosse is a trooper, dedicating himself to this character in order to break down boundaries. Problem is, Crosse doesn’t carry through with it come the live event. He has several openings, but loses his nerve in front of the crowd. Knight, who came off as a complete douchenozzle in the first show, is actually helping Crosse near the end of this one, offering suggestions as to how he could make the character work. Come evaluation time, Storm plays along those same lines, advising Crosse that finding a character, believing in it, and making it work is why he hasn’t made it yet.

Carlo “Cash Money” Cannon seems to already have a personality in place in Episode 03. The problem is, it’s as the victim. The episode features on aggression, and it’s established that Carlo is everybody’s buddy. The nice guy. The one that sells like he’s getting murdered when it comes to the aggression drills. It also doesn’t help that Dylan knight is back in “alpha male” mode, being the douchenozzle we came to love in the first show.

Lance then pushes the “aggression” bit further with a hard and heavy workout for the whole crew. Cannon wears down further and further, and finally bogaloos ‘til he pukes. Knight gets a kick out of it, Taya Valkyrie looks worried...the usual reactions that now become expected as we have an idea of each trainee’s personality. Although we get a little more of an idea, as Knight has pretty much targeted Cannon--who he calls “Princess”.

The cool part here is, in Episode 01 when Storm got Irena’s com-uppance on Knight for her, Cannon does it himself here. During another aggression drill, Cannon takes it to Knight, who expresses some fear and thankfulness at the fact that Cannon didn’t go for a dive to the outside. In what becomes one of the coolest moments of the show thus far, Storm pep talks Cannon in to taking the risk and doing the dive:



Of course, Storm books Knight and Cannon as opponents on the live show and Cannon is freaking out about the dive because the ring is a little smaller. Cannon has a bigger problem when he pops his knee out at the entrance after slipping on the floor. He puts all that to the side and hits the dive during the match. It doesn’t look picture-perfect like the one in training, but it impresses Storm to the point that this was the first mainly positive evaluation of the show.

All in all, “World of Hurt” is a pretty good show, from what I’ve been able to see. There’s certainly some of the reality “drama” to be had, but most of it seems somewhat legitimate in dealing with the volatile personalities found in wrestling. Could some of it have been egged on by the producers? Certainly. This is a “reality” show, and it’s very tough to believe that, like any other reality show, at least some of it hasn’t been worked.

There are also some minor technical issues as far as the overall production, particularly with some choices in camera angles and things of the like. If you’re not looking for them, chances are they’ll go unnoticed – save for the intro to each episode, where Storm almost never looks directly in to the camera. When you’re talking directly to the audience, that sort of thing helps.

Speaking of the main man, the show-ending evaluations are well done, also. Storm doesn’t dress people down like Steve Austin did on “Tough Enough”, but he doesn’t have to. Again, Storm is fair and honest when it comes to the talent, what they do right, and what they need to work on.

This is as real of a show about the insides of the pro wrestling business - from the aspect of what’s expected from a performer wanting to make it big - as you’ll ever find. Storm isn’t too much of an ass nor is he too nice; his even temper is perfect for someone in his position, both in real life and as seen on television. The trainees each have their faults and foibles, but they give you a reason to cheer them on as well. It’s compelling television and a good show about pro wrestling, which are the two goals this show strives to hit and does consistently. Bug the hell out of your local cable provider or Netflix so you can see it for yourself.

World of Hurt - Introduction

Before we get in to this proper, let’s answer a couple questions I’ve been asked quite a few times...

No, “World of Hurt” is not another show I’m doing. For those asking, “When are new episodes of Count3rCu1ture coming out?”, the answer is: the week of June 13-17. There’s a couple events happening June 10-12 (one of them already discussed in detail) and those will be filmed. I’m also playing with a slightly different format for those events to spread out the content a bit.

Basically, consider the first episode about Free Comic Book Day the pilot. The show really kicks off in roughly two weeks off of the tapings listed above. There are some (sound) issues to work out, along with a couple other minor production points. The show is supposed to have a rougher look to it, but that doesn’t mean it has to be so sloppy it’s unwatchable.

With that out of the way, let’s do this.




Now, you can see by the “Introduction” headline above that “World of Hurt” will become a semi-regular feature here at Count3rCu1ture. Just like everything else, these will happen as they become available. In this case, it would be episodes of “World of Hurt,” which I plan on reviewing all of, or at least as many as I can.

As many of what? Why, “World of Hurt,” of course. Yeahbuwha? Okay, now we get to the explanation proper.

“World of Hurt” is a departure for me as it is the first reality show I have ever sought out to watch on my own. Which is quite a feat, because it’s not even on in the US. The show airs Sundays at 5pm EST on The Cave in Canada (the Northern equivalent to Spike TV).

As for what the show is about, “World of Hurt” features former WWE Superstar wrestler Lance Storm, who now runs his own wrestling training school in Canada, the Storm Wrestling Academy. Ten students embark on an “advanced course” at his school - no learning to run the ropes or take a fall. These students have already passed that point and are seasoned wrestlers making their rounds on the independent circuit in an effort to break in to the “big time” - i.e. WWE or TNA Impact! Wrestling. Storm is there to guide them through the finer points of the wrestling industry, to let them know where they succeed or where they fail...and the whole thing is caught on film.

For a lifelong wrestling fan, this is a fascinating concept that I wanted to see the moment I heard about it. Kinda odd, considering that “WWE Tough Enough” is back on television, right? Okay, let’s answer that - and explain a little more about this feature - before we go any further...

Why “World of Hurt” > “Tough Enough” (and every other reality show I’ve ignored until now)

Like Ivory Soap, 99.44% of all reality TV shows are essentially the same premise. X amount of people are put in situation Y and all have to compete for some big prize at the end of the season, while learning how to co-habitate. Along the way, any sense of “reality” is thrown right out the window because the contestants are given characters and scripted lines “put in situations” that test their relationships with one another. Alliances Friendships form, producers put people at each others’ throats for ratings enemies are made, and predictable BS “drama” is made. That includes “Tough Enough”, where the contestants vie for a WWE developmental contract by the end of the season.

And that show bugs me even more, because...to borrow an analogy from Marc with a C, let’s say you have a reality show with, uh...I dunno...twelve people. Sure, twelve sound good. Four of them have taken some sort of Anatomy & Physiology course in Community College. Two of them are pre-Med students. One of them is at the Bachelor’s level of schooling. The other five have taken high school Biology, if they’re lucky. Yet, by the end of this twelve-week television series, one of them - we have no idea which one, mind you - will have somehow proven that they have the skills, bedside manner, and knowledge to become one of the top brain surgeons in the world.

Sound a little frackin’ ridonkulous, right? To me, so does “Tough Enough”. For that same reason. Despite having trainers like “Stone Cold” Steve Austin” and Trish Stratus, you can’t teach someone, in give-or-take twelve weeks’ time, to be one of the top wrestling performers in the world. Pro wrestling is a performance art that takes a long time to master. Call it “fake” all you want, but there’s an art to learning how to carry a character, to connect with dozens of thousands of people at a time, to make a match look as real as possible without causing serious injury. Bret Hart has said that one of the things he’s proudest of in his career was that he never seriously hurt anyone in the ring – and his matches were among the best in terms of drama, psychology, and action. That’s how it’s done right, and to expect someone who’s never stepped in the ring in their life to perform at that level is preposterous.

Put it this way – could you step in a wrestling ring and make yourself a star in front of thousands of people in an arena and millions more watching at home? I already know damn well I couldn’t do it. (Which, for those of you who’ve asked me why I’ve never tried to become a wrestler...there was your answer.)

“World of Hurt”, however, is a different animal. First of all, the contestants—wait, that’s wrong. There are no contestants, because the ten students on the show aren’t competing for any prize at the end of the rainbow. They’re in a school to learn how to get to the next level on their own merits. I like the fact that the the show’s website refers to it as “a documentary series”, because that’s what it is. No pre-scripted “reality” to be had.

Second, from the clips I’ve seen this is also a pretty good look at the inside of pro wrestling and what it takes to do what these people do. Storm has said in interviews that there are no “challenges” that have nothing to do with wrestling (something else “Tough Enough” is guilty of) nor is there any “scripted drama” with all these people living in the same house. Just a straight, serious look at what it takes to make to the top of the pro wrestling heap.

As a lifelong wrestling fan...sure, I’m interested in this. All without the dog-and-pony shows that other reality shows are guilty of? Sign me up.

So, beginning next week there will be reviews posted of each episode here (as I’m able to see them). I’m excited about checking this out and getting some attention on a show that sounds worth getting that attention for. And hopefully get it some airplay in the states as well. Or at least on Netflix.