Yackety Schmackety

Warning: this is a pro wrestling-centric post. If that's not your thing, by all means feel free to hit the "Back" button above.



If you are a wrestling fan and somehow have absolutely no idea what happened at WrestleMania XXX, same applies to you as well as this your obligatory SPOILER WARNING for you sensitive types. For something that happened live and everybody already knows about except you because analyzing that finale of "How I Met Your Mother" was just too important. Kthxbi



Now then, if you stuck around this long I'm sure you can see by the tags that we're discussing what everybody thinks is the biggest news in history - that being the ending of The Streak at WrestleMania XXX. The Undertaker finally lost. To Brock Lesnar. In a match that, honestly, was good-but-not-great and wasn't that well built at all. There was zero indication this was coming, and anyone who tries to tell you that they predicted it is just a bald-faced liar at this point.



But, yeah, it happened. There's no way of getting around it, no way of denying it, no way of turning back the clock in making it unhappen. For good or ill, it's a done deal.








You don't have to like or agree with it. Hell, I'm not 100% sure I do at this point. (In this arena of theater and entertainment, this is a little big to take in. Haven't quite processed the implications. Still working on that part yet.) There is one thing that some of you should do, however, and that's calm down.



It's one thing to dislike the booking or question why the decision was made. I'm all for that. But to proclaim that this is the "worst booking decision in wrestling history"? That there's nothing but doom and gloom from here on out? That this will ultimately lead to the company going bankrupt?



Get. The hell. Over. Yourselves.



Quit stamping your feet and holding your breath like a petulant child. Quit blaming creative, or Triple-H's ego, or Vince McMahon, or whatever other evil that you think ruined your life. (Because none of those may even be at fault.) Quit pretending you have a damn clue and could possibly have done this any better. (Because if you could, you'd be working for them in that capacity.) And really, quit raging with your little keyboard every single time something does not go your way. Because, quite honestly, now you're just ruining the internet for the rest of us.



My theory (which is based purely on speculation because I have no inside information and I certainly wasn't there when the decision was made)? In training for this match, Mark Calaway came to the heartbreaking realization that his body was not going to last as long as he or the company wanted it to. Maybe he got hurt or maybe he simply felt all of the injuries of time piling up on him. In coming to this realization, he decided that he would "do business" the right way, give his friend the best gift he possibly could, and begin the process of winding down his illustrious career. If that's how it went down, I could not think of a better way for history to have been made.



BREAKINGNEWSEDIT: Lending credence to that theory? This right here.



Again, in this arena of theater and entertainment...in this continuity...this is a big deal. I completely understand that. But it's certainly not so big that wrestling will cease to exist forever. What we saw was not the end of the WWE (although the stock is down several points the morning after it happened? The hell??), or the end of the world, or the sky toppling down on us. What we saw is rare in wrestling anymore - a legitimate surprise that resulted in a true moment in history. What we might have seen is a man who's given so much to this particular form of entertainment choose to give back to his company and to this form of entertainment one more time in very big, spectacular fashion.



Wrestling fans love to bemoan that we don't get any true surprises or memorable moments anymore. At WrestleMania XXX, we got both. In the biggest way anyone could have imagined. Instead of crying and yelling because it didn't go exactly the way I wanted it to, I plan on sitting back and taking this end. I watched wrestling history happen live. And I'm thankful for that.



And with that said...on a completely unrelated note...the #CS100 resumes today on Twitter. Feel free to check that out and thank you very much in advance.

Spoil THIS.

Okay, I understand I’m walking a fine line here even before I start. Because, you know, God forbid I offend anyone in today’s uber-sensitive climate where people can have their feelings and sensitivities ruffled over just about anything. Even with that said, I’m trying to be the bigger person here.

So, I’ve seen and heard quite a bit lately about people having to read “spoilers” on their social media feeds. Now, we’re not talking about crucial plot points of a movie or show that hasn’t been released yet being given away to a mass audience. That’s more than understandable. No, this has to do with people commenting on events as they happen and rubbing those that can’t see it the wrong way.

For clarity’s sake, let’s use AMC’s The Walking Dead as our example. The season finale aired back on March 18 and roughly 9 million people saw it. (I wasn’t one of them because, between all the podcasts and online geek news I keep up with, I’m pretty much able to follow both the comic and TV series’ without reading or watching either one. I’ll probably get around to both someday.) While it was happening, a new charac--

Wait, wait, wait. So nobody gets mad at me, either...despite the fact that this happened nearly a month ago now...**SPOILER WARNING**, okay?

Anyway, a new character, Michonne debuted. By new, I mean new to the show, as the character has quite a following as far as the comic series fans go.

There, there’s the end of your **SPOILER WARNING**, okay? But it might come up again, because that’s the entire point of this piece, so maybe I need another **SPOILER WARNING** just for the rest of the column so nobody gets mad. We cool? Okay, great.

People watching the season finale live commented all over the place, as they were uber-excited to see an appearance from Michonne. However, there were people that had to work, or be somewhere else and couldn’t watch the show live, having to opt for seeing it recorded later on.

Despite being so busy they couldn’t see the show, however, they were certainly not too busy that they couldn’t check their social media feeds or go online and see people talking about this all over. And then they haul off and call the people talking about the show as it was happening “assholes” and other cute names just because they had the temerity to go online and read about what they weren’t able to see yet.

Now, let’s clarify something here. Despite how sarcastic (caustic, perhaps?) I’ve been up to this point, I actually try not to give away details of something I’m watching live. I definitely threw out a comment or two about WrestleMania 28, but I kept it to commentary and not giving away results or anything. I actually try to be careful about that sort of thing because, well...I’ve kinda walked away from being a newshound. I spent several years doing that sort of thing and, frankly, there are people like Randy at Geek World Order who have taken up that mantle and run with it better than I’m able to nowadays. That’s also one of the reasons I hardly update this thing anymore, but that’s a digression for a-whole-nother time.

Back to our point, I try to be careful about not giving away details when I’m watching a big event for the sake of those that may not be able to see it right then and there and don’t want everything given away before they can see it. With that said, I also don’t agree with those same people getting all mad and claiming the internet as their own sovereign ground, not to be disturbed or treaded upon by those who are watching whatever event live and want to express their excitement in the details they are seeing unfold.

It’s called “freedom of expression”. You remember that, don’tcha? The thing we’re all guaranteed in the First Amendment of the Constitution? The same freedom that those whiny maggots who yelled loud enough to have the ending of “Mass Effect 3” changed have surrendered their right to argue in favor of ever again because of their over-inflated sense of self-entitlement disguised as nerd rage? Yes, we all still have it. We’re allowed to rant, rave, and yes, discuss things that are happening live, right here and right now, even if we’re told by a few that we’re not allowed because now they can’t be surprised.

If it’s that big of a deal, may I suggest not being on the internet while said events that you can’t see live are happening? Or, at the very least, stay the hell off of the social networks on your phone. The expression “curiosity killed the cat” exists for a reason. If you deliberately stick your foot in an ant mound, who do you really have to blame when you get bit several dozen hundred times? If you know all your friends are watching the show and probably talking about it, then don’t go near it until you’ve had a chance to watch it. It’s really that easy.

I’m sure this came off as being biased toward one side of the argument, but it’s really not. It’s a lesson we can all learn because it’s honestly not that difficult. For those of you that can’t see it as it happens, have a heart for those who can and let them enjoy it in peace while they’re watching it. If you know good and well everybody’s going to be talking about this thing, don’t be so egotistical to think the entire world’s going to steer clear of details because you can’t join the party quite yet. And those of you that are talking about it? Try and have a care for those who can’t see it quite yet. Commentary is fine, but you don’t have to give away every little detail before everyone can see it, because there will be those who simply can’t see it as it happens.

At the end of the day, it’s all about consideration. It’s not as tough as everyone thinks it is, though it does involve some effort in not thinking about just yourself. If we all spent a little more time looking at ourselves to see how we could me more considerate toward others rather than sticking noses in everyone else’s business and picking self-righteous arguments when anyone says something even remotely possibly insensitive toward anyone or anything, I swear to you this world this world would be a much better place. As my good friend Marc would say, “In a world of trolling and negativity, the most punk rock thing you can do is just be nice.”


The classics never get old



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Remember what I said about not breaking news like other dudes? Yeah, everybody and their mom’s already beaten me to this one, but I don’t have to care. I don’t want to be the first to share anything anymore; I just want to share what I like.

Sci-Fried has a new video out for a track called “Never Fall”, an anthemic ditty about the Avengers. So is the video. See, watch:





Oh yeah, and my buddies here are also trying to get to Bonnaroo. Can you find it in your heart to help them out? Maybe even once a day? I promise it won’t cost a dime.