Yackety Schmackety

Warning: this is a pro wrestling-centric post. If that's not your thing, by all means feel free to hit the "Back" button above.



If you are a wrestling fan and somehow have absolutely no idea what happened at WrestleMania XXX, same applies to you as well as this your obligatory SPOILER WARNING for you sensitive types. For something that happened live and everybody already knows about except you because analyzing that finale of "How I Met Your Mother" was just too important. Kthxbi



Now then, if you stuck around this long I'm sure you can see by the tags that we're discussing what everybody thinks is the biggest news in history - that being the ending of The Streak at WrestleMania XXX. The Undertaker finally lost. To Brock Lesnar. In a match that, honestly, was good-but-not-great and wasn't that well built at all. There was zero indication this was coming, and anyone who tries to tell you that they predicted it is just a bald-faced liar at this point.



But, yeah, it happened. There's no way of getting around it, no way of denying it, no way of turning back the clock in making it unhappen. For good or ill, it's a done deal.








You don't have to like or agree with it. Hell, I'm not 100% sure I do at this point. (In this arena of theater and entertainment, this is a little big to take in. Haven't quite processed the implications. Still working on that part yet.) There is one thing that some of you should do, however, and that's calm down.



It's one thing to dislike the booking or question why the decision was made. I'm all for that. But to proclaim that this is the "worst booking decision in wrestling history"? That there's nothing but doom and gloom from here on out? That this will ultimately lead to the company going bankrupt?



Get. The hell. Over. Yourselves.



Quit stamping your feet and holding your breath like a petulant child. Quit blaming creative, or Triple-H's ego, or Vince McMahon, or whatever other evil that you think ruined your life. (Because none of those may even be at fault.) Quit pretending you have a damn clue and could possibly have done this any better. (Because if you could, you'd be working for them in that capacity.) And really, quit raging with your little keyboard every single time something does not go your way. Because, quite honestly, now you're just ruining the internet for the rest of us.



My theory (which is based purely on speculation because I have no inside information and I certainly wasn't there when the decision was made)? In training for this match, Mark Calaway came to the heartbreaking realization that his body was not going to last as long as he or the company wanted it to. Maybe he got hurt or maybe he simply felt all of the injuries of time piling up on him. In coming to this realization, he decided that he would "do business" the right way, give his friend the best gift he possibly could, and begin the process of winding down his illustrious career. If that's how it went down, I could not think of a better way for history to have been made.



BREAKINGNEWSEDIT: Lending credence to that theory? This right here.



Again, in this arena of theater and entertainment...in this continuity...this is a big deal. I completely understand that. But it's certainly not so big that wrestling will cease to exist forever. What we saw was not the end of the WWE (although the stock is down several points the morning after it happened? The hell??), or the end of the world, or the sky toppling down on us. What we saw is rare in wrestling anymore - a legitimate surprise that resulted in a true moment in history. What we might have seen is a man who's given so much to this particular form of entertainment choose to give back to his company and to this form of entertainment one more time in very big, spectacular fashion.



Wrestling fans love to bemoan that we don't get any true surprises or memorable moments anymore. At WrestleMania XXX, we got both. In the biggest way anyone could have imagined. Instead of crying and yelling because it didn't go exactly the way I wanted it to, I plan on sitting back and taking this end. I watched wrestling history happen live. And I'm thankful for that.



And with that said...on a completely unrelated note...the #CS100 resumes today on Twitter. Feel free to check that out and thank you very much in advance.

The New UFC

Let me start with a simple statement that will make a whole lot more sense in a few paragraphs: I have nothing against MMA at all. In fact, I kinda like it.

MMA, of course, would refer to the sport of Mixed Martial Arts. Or, if you prefer, UFC. Or Strikeforce. Or Bellator. Or any other promotions out there. Or a combination thereof. Mostly, though, the most well-known and preferred brand/league is, of course, UFC. Kinda like WWE for pro wrestling fans.

As a Wrestling fan (we’ll save the “Sports Entertainment” debate for another time, but we know it as Wrestling in these here parts), I can certainly appreciate how UFC has appropriated what makes Wrestling so popular and adapted that to an actual sport where matches are not choreographed or pre-determined. Totally cool with all of that.

I don’t follow UFC all that much; I certainly thought about it at one point, but I just never really got in to it on a regular basis. I prefer my sports scripted, thank you; that’s just how I am. It’s much easier to guarantee solid action and the right outcome according to my tastes.

As for how I prefer competition, that has become an entirely different story. I’ve actually discovered a happy medium between Wrestling and MMA. The hype and pageantry are lavish; the personalities are all unique and charismatic; the rivalries and struggles are very real and very fierce; fans have their favorites that they cheer and boo; and, best of all, no one gets hurt.

The participants don’t lace up any boots or wear any trunks. They train for hours and days on end, but rarely a sweat is broken. Reflexes and strategy are key, but the combatants throw no blows. They control others who do that for them – and those warriors are much more colorful, flamboyant, and compelling to watch. The moves they are programmed to perform are stellar enough to defy gravity and physics, making the matches much more exhilarating to watch. With enough training and talent, the field is much more open to new blood as there is no physical preparation involved at all.

It’s official: the world of professional video game competition is my UFC. More specifically, the annual EVO Championship Series. Want a good summary? Check out, right under this, the Finals of EVO 2010:



You can probably tell by the above video that the EVO Championships focus specifically on fighting games. No Halo-like shooters or Gears of War-type multiplayer battles. These focus (at least this year) on games like Super Street Fighter IV, Marvel Vs Capcom 3, Mortal Kombat (9), and games of that type. Where one player faces another with the winner advancing and the loser going home until all of the tournaments held around the world lead to the crowning of a new champion each year.

Whereas UFC fans cheer for Cain Velasquez, Brock Lesnar, Georges St Pierre, or Wanderlei Silva, those that follow the EVO Tournaments follow the exploits of stars such as Justin Wong (the subject of a documentary called King of Chinatown), Daigo, Ricky Ortiz, Mike Ross, and Gamerbee. These are the competitors that a new breed of video game and fighting sport enthusiasts have made quasi-celebrities among a smaller – but ever-growing – set of fans.

This year, Orlando hosts one of the EVO Tournaments. Set to happen June 10-12 at the Wyndham Resort on International Drive, CEO is proud to present not only the road to the EVO Championships, but also a screening of the King of Chinatown documentary (see the trailer below). King Of Chinatown is a fascinating look at the world of professional video gaming that goes a long way in helping explain the whole phenomenon.



The tournament is presented by one of its players, Alex JeBailey, head of CEO. Alex has been gracious enough to let Count3rCu1ture be a part of CEO 2011 and I will be taping from the event that weekend. Along the way, it may help to explain why so many – including myself – substitute the letters UFC with EVO.

Be on the lookout for Count3rCu1ture coverage of CEO 2011 the week of June 13-17 as we open the doors to the that Tournament and to the world of EVO.

How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Brock

Before I get in to the obvious topic at hand, a quick note about why Twitter can be so cool sometimes...

So I’m on break at work and I see a discussion about the World Cup match between Uruguay and the Netherlands. On Twitter, I happen to follow Claudio Castagnoli, one-half of the Ring Of Honor World Tag-Team Champions and an avid soccer fan. This day and age, that sort of thing can be a great and entertaining source of information to follow live, especially for an event like the World Cup. Claudio made a remark about how a Pele kick” brought about a penalty and a yellow card, so, I figured...“What the hell?” Tying in the wrestling angle as well, I replied to Claudio about the irony.

What I didn’t expect was for Claudio to answer back.



Holy. Crap. This is a guy who not only happens to produce some work inside of a wrestling ring that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed, but has traveled worldwide to build a pretty nice fanbase in doing so. And he actually took the time out to respond.

THAT’S why Twitter, for all the flak it catches, can be very cool. To have someone at whatever level of fame that you’re a fan of respond directly to you in seconds flat is damn cool no matter who you are.

Anyway, on with our regularly scheduled program...


It took me a good while to finally get in to MMA. It’s becoming all the rage now, and I’ll probably be accused of “jumping on the bandwagon”, but there are reasons (the title of this piece notwithstanding) that I’ve come around. First, some history...

I’ve definitely been aware of MMA (and the UFC in particular) since the early-mid 90s. I’d heard about it and tried liking it that long ago, but it actually bored me. Over the span of a decade, I’d tried again and again to see the appeal, but I simply couldn’t. And the reason lies in the fact that I can describe every fight I’d seen in that time (which were, admittedly, a couple handfuls, but the fact remains):

Two dudes throw punches that don’t land

They hug

Stop, drop, and roll

One ends up on top of the other

The guy on top punches the crap out of the one of the bottom until the bottom guy taps out

...and that was it. After seeing that exact same fight with different people involved each time for ten years, I had no interest in seeing the same thing over and over again. Is that a fair representation of what MMA was? Not really; it’s probably just what I happened to see each time. I’d kinda followed the sport by reading about it when something caught my attention and, once in a blue moon, seeing a fight that held some interest (more on that in the first bout of UFC 116), but I still wasn’t completely sold.

Fast forward to July 3, 2010. UFC 116 was on the lips of the planet because Brock Lesnar was returning to the Octagon to face the undefeated Shane Carwin for the Undisputed World Title. Being a diehard wrestling fan and all about some Brock when he was in WWE, I decided to give in and give it another chance. Whether the stars were aligned just right or I happened to see what I needed to see...either way, it finally happened..

I already know people will hate my guts because of the notion that “Lesnar got me in to UFC because he was a rassler,” and I’m cognizant enough of what I read to realize that they hate Lesnar because of that, so I realize I’m facing an uphill battle already. At least, I would be if I cared about that sort of thing - or if it were actually true. But the fact that Lesnar was a rassler and that’s why I got in to it...while that’s part of the story, it’s only a small part.

I saw the fight at UFC 100 against Frank Mir. I’d also read about how Mir verbally denigrated Lesnar’s chances to the point where he really pissed Lesnar off. This is a guy that, not only keeps freezers (plural) of meat from animals that he shot and killed himself, but that gets flat-out scary when he’s angry. He also gets motivated like you wouldn’t believe, which led him to pounding Mir in to ground chuck and keeping his title. Lesnar also loves to be hated. While he doesn’t feel the need to constantly play the heel, per se, Lesnar is a guy that will feed off of negative emotions and turn spite in to a weapon. Once again, ask Frank Mir - and the fans that Lesnar rubbed the wrong way after the fight when he rubbed that win in all of their faces.

It was Lesnar’s toughness, motivation, and fearlessness at turning the sport on its ear by becoming one of its greats that started getting my attention. Hell, if Lesnar had never even met Vince McMahon, that kind of attitude - and the charisma and determination he showed in beinga huge success despite becoming the poster child for everything that’s “wrong” with MMA - would have won me over.

Now, Lesnar was coming off of a year out of the game. Divertuiculitis (which I’ve had, and it’s not even remotely close to fun, trust me) had taken the Champ down and, after a long recovery and many questions about his health and his ability to get back in the cage, the stage was set for UFC 116’s main event.

But first, there were several other bouts to get to. Figuring I was already investing this time, effort, and money in to watching for what may well could have been a 30-second fight, I had the perfect opportunity to give the UFC - and MMA as a whole, really - another chance and take in the whole show. Right off the bat, I was rewarded with seeing Seth Petruzelli nearly getting his arm broken.

Yeah, that sounds a little mean. There’s no way to sugarcoat it, though - if there’s a guy I want to see get his ass kicked in this particular realm, it’s Seth Petruzellu. The problem I have with Petruzelli goes back to the EliteXC fight with Kimbo Slice. Not because I was all about some Kimbo; he was cool for a minute until it was clear he was in over his head when it came to the actual art of combat. (Although any guy willing to parlay that image of badassery in to a role in a Nickelodeon TV movie earns a little credit for maybe not taking himself as seriously as others did.) I’ve no heat with Petruzelli for beating Slice in under 30 seconds, it’s what the fool did afterward. His very first interview after that fight was with a morning radio show right here in Orlando where he admitted (starting at 1:50:14) to the fact that he was paid not to shoot on Kimbo so he could basically be fed to him. That comment began an investigation by - and, soon enough - in to - EliteXC that ultimately led to the promotion shutting its doors for good. Reader’s Digest Condensed Version: By being an idiot not keeping his yap shut, Petruzelli started the ball rolling on the end of a viable MMA promotion. Good job, genius - was it really necessary to talk about how the fix was in while putting yourself over?

So, Petruzelli lost. And I was happy. But that’s not to take anything at all away from his opponent, Ricardo Romero. Making his UFC debut, Romero put on a clinic and, for the first time in over 15 years since I had become aware of UFC, opened my eyes to the idea of using any sort of strategy to win one of these fights. The art of fighting had finally become apparent when Romero let Petruzelli throw several bombs, took every one of them so that Petruzelli would tire himself out (and that was AFTER Romero had his jaw broken), and then went after the exerted arm (that had to be at least a little sore after throwing eight minutes worth of punches) and bent it damn-near backwards to win the fight.

In that moment, the possibilities of UFC were wide open. The presentation already harkened back to a time when pro wrestling, from a standpoint of a quality product if not so much popularity, was at its best. Two guys have an issue - even one as simple as both of them wanting to make their way up the ladder and having to go through the other guy to do it. Exploit that issue, hype it up to the point where I can’t wait to see these guys go at it, turn them loose and give me a realistic, believable 1-on-1 contest that I’m satisfied to have seen and felt was worth the time and money I spent to see it. That, before the word “entertainment” became involved and the action was almost a hindrance to telling some sort of story, was what made pro wrestling great. That is what UFC has harnessed, modified, remastered, and presented to a public that is hungry for it. My hat’s off to them for the presentation - always has been in that respect - but it was great to know that the product itself had actually come to the point where it matched the hype surrounding it.

I saw more examples of this as the show went on. I saw Gerald Harris wear Dave Branch down far enough that he could knock Branch out cold with a spinebuster slam that Arn Anderson would be proud of. I saw Stephen Bonnar go all out in the names of redemption and survival, bleeding like a shotgun victim after a relentless onslaught by Krzyzstof Soszynski only to finally exploit an opening by a frustrated Soszynski and save his career. I saw a hungry - check that, famished Chris Leben step in the place of established superstar Wanderlei Silva two weeks after his last fight and make Yoshihiro Akiyama give up after being hit harder than any man should be able to take because he saw his opportunity to grab the proverbial brass ring and subsequently challenge Wanderlei to cement his place in history. I was thoroughly enthralled by many examples of MMA at its best, and all that was before the fight that led me herein the first place!

Brock Lesnar was set to claim his title - or attempt to - against a man that was 12-0, had never had a fight go past the first round because he set land speed records beating his opponents senseless, and was so nearly physically identical to Lesnar he could have been a clone. Because dyed-in-the-wool MMA fans hated Lesnar `(because, God forbid, a ”fake” fighter had learned the discipline and shown the will and heart it took to get there in the first place), no one really reacted to the fact that this was a man who had no business even stepping in the cage in the first place because of a seriousness illness. The feel-good story of a tried-and-true comeback was largely ignored, but that suited Lesnar just fine. He wasn’t going in to kiss babies and be the “good guy”. Nor, as viewers learned, did he ever set out to be the stereotypical pro wrestling “villain” that his post-UFC 100 interview portrayed. Lesnar, then, simply had a problem with how inferior Mir treated him and set about the task of making him eat his words in the form of a 4XL glove. This time, Lesnar had no ill will toward Carwin or anyone else.

Mission accomplished. Lesnar hung in there during Carwin’s opening salvos. He absorbed and, when necessary, evaded Carwin’s best shots to tire him out. But this wasn’t as simple as a “wear-him-out-and-finish-him-off” fight - Lesnar surprised Carwin and everyone else by going for - and then getting - a submission win. Afterward, Lesnar’s humility was on display in a radically different post-fight interview from the one he gave at UFC 100. Lesnar didn’t want to be the “heel” or throw in people’s faces that he was a “rassler” that made good because the fans didn’t want him to. Lesnar simply, and graciously, wanted his spot at the top back and to prove he was worthy of being there. It seemed that Lesnar had learned a lot in his time away from the Octagon...

...and he’s not alone. I was at a point of being a fan of Lesnar’s, but not MMA, to the point that if Lesnar wasn’t involved, I wasn’t interested. I do have to thank him, though, for getting me interested on a full-time basis - and leading the way to many other competitors that have much to offer themselves. Brock Lesnar may have brought me here, but it’s guys like Stephen Bonnar, Chris Leben, Gerald Harris, and (you damn betcha) Ricardo Romero that have convinced me to stick around a while.