Friday, February 25, 2011

My Issue With Spider-Man

No, it has nothing to do with the character, the comic, any of the stories, or even the movies. (Although that third one has taken less than its fair share of criticism...Venom as a 70s emo wuss? Who booked this crap?)

No, my issue is with Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark. The musical. Just one question...a request, really...

Can we pull the plug on this thing’s life support already and just let it die? Honestly, this thing has “destined to fail” written all over it. And yet, the producers march on like General Custer.

Alan Cumming (known for several cool roles, but the one closest to this would be Nightcrawler in the second X-Men movie) was set to be a part of this thing before he grew a brain. No, that’s not a knock - hell, even he feels that way about it (edited for language):

He explained, "My GOD, that was a lucky escape...Talk about dodging a bullet there! …it just %#@!ed me about. It kept getting delayed and delayed, and so I was like, 'OK, time to move on.' Yeah, it was a bit awkward. She [Director Julie Taymor] wasn't best pleased when I quit. But the thing about Julie is that she's very blinkered about her work, and then things go into the ether. So the next time I saw her for The Tempest, it was like it never happened."

Need to know more? Okay, sure!

Four actors have been injured during production, including lead actress Natalie Mendoza. The original actors for two main roles - Mary Jane and the Green Goblin - have split. It’s been delayed several dozen times - at first for funding issues before racking up a $60 million production price tag. They’ve had to bring in another director and damn good comic scribe Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa to save their collective fat. And THAT was because the first preview featured several technical glitches, more delays, and generally sucked so bad that a few critics broke an unspoken rule just to let the world know how abominable this show is.

On top of all that, do you remember the last time someone got the bright idea to put a super-hero musical on Broadway? Yeah, neither does anyone else - because it sucked so bad the first seven rows passed out from lack of oxygen (thank you, Jim Cornette)! It’s A Bird... It’s A Plane...It’s Superman! is now 45 years old and it lasted less than four months before closing doors. That should tell you how terrific it was. And yet, someone’s willing to try this again.

Of course, comic movies are all the rage now. The nerds are coming out of the closet and geek chic is all the rage. There’s a great market out there to be had, but it’s still no reason for this. $60 million dollars later, this thing has almost no chance of making its money back, much less turning a profit.

Even after all the evidence above, there are three simple reasons why this show is a reason that Roe Vs. Wade was passed in to legislation (I know it’s not the first time I’ve used that line, but this actually fits better.).

It’s a musical. About Spider-Man. With music by Bono and The Edge.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Examining the future of comic book movies, part 04: X-Men - First Class - Orlando Comic Books | Examiner.com

X-Men: First Class could arguably be the biggest wild card out of all of the comic book movies in 2011.

Sure, I would like to throw in some added commentary here - but, really, that's what the article is.

It's all true, though. Personally, I did think the trailer looked pretty good. Confusing, but pretty good. I'm pretty sold on checking it out - which, I'm sure because this was a trailer - was the idea.

Still, the Cuban Missile Crisis thing has me thrown off. Off the top of my head, there's no other national incident that would fit something like this better. At the same time, that's now a fifty-year gap between then and now. If you want to go back to the original movie, we'll be generous and call it 40.

Nothing to do now but wait for another preview or three and wait to see how all this turns out.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

DJ Caruso signed on to direct "Preacher" - Orlando Comic Books | Examiner.com

It was announced yesterday that director DJ Caruso has been signed to direct an adaptation of the popular - and controversial - Preacher.

Oh, no - this ain't gonna be no one-liner with some fleeting commentary. This is a subject near and dear to my heart.

Now that the news has been “broken”, it’s time for, “Good Idea, Bad Idea”.

Good Idea: Turning Garth Ennis’s seminal Vertigo series “Preacher” in to an HBO serial, which was the plan up until three years ago.

Bad Idea: Turning Garth Ennis’s seminal Vertigo series “Preacher” in to a feature film all its own, which now seems to be the plan.

Caruso is the next in a long line of adaptations set for the film that have never panned out. Ennis first sold the rights to Electric Entertainment around 1998. Since then, several names have been involved with bringing the comic to life, including Rachel Talalay, Bob Weinstein, Kevin Smith, Scott Mosier, James Marsden, Mark Steven Johnson, and Sam Mendes, among others. HBO - of all outlets - pulled the plug on the project when the network decided that the subject matter of “Preacher” was “just too dark and too violent and too controversial,” according to Johnson.

“Too dark...too violent...too controversial”...for HBO? Really? The home of “The Sopranos”, “Deadwood”, and a score of other series that regular TV wouldn’t go near with a 40’ pole and a HazMat suit? That should say something in and of itself.

While Caruso’s track record could considered somewhat suspect for such a project (although I have seen approximately zero of his movies), it is the project itself that seems doomed as far as a Hollywood adaptation. While a great story when fully revealed, asking people to spend in upwards of $15 to suspend disbelief in the philosophy that God could very well be a self-centered asshole* in an age of extreme Political Correctness seems a bit much to ask.

Plenty of people would want to see this done right. I’m certainly among them. Unfortunately, the fear that more people will turn on this project faster than a Vince Russo-scripted heel turn far outweighs any joy this news should normally bring.


* - Hey, if WWE can ditch their ”PG” rating for a couple weeks, then I can get away with a one-off now and again.

The. Final. Word. On the Grammys.

Since I’m already in a bad mood about Dwayne McDuffie, I may as well do this once and for all.

There’s a reason I steered clear of the Grammys. There’s nothing about them that I haven’t said already. Numerous times. It was time to let it go and move.

And then Steve Stoute had to go and open his yap.

There’s no way I’m reprinting his entire open letter to Grammy organizers (you can do that here, if you feel so inclined). There are a couple points I may quote, but I have to start with the beginning. One of the very first things out of his mouth. One that says what I’ve been saying in much more sarcastic tones publicly for seven years:

I have come to the conclusion that the Grammy Awards have clearly lost touch with contemporary popular culture.

Where. On God’s green earth. Have you been?

Here’s the problem, Steve - it’s easily arguable that the Grammys never had touch with contemporary popular culture in the first place. The Grammys are actually one of the reasons this Blog - or at least its name - exists in the first place.

The Grammys, moreso than the Oscars or any other awards show, are a sign of corporate marketing at its most prominent. They always have been. You can cite Steeley Dan beating Eminem for Album of the Year or even Jethro Tull ousting Metallica for Best Metal performance all you want - the fact is, the Grammys have always been shallow, weak, and not worth the attention, venom, and vigor they receive for all the blown spots year in and year out.

Although, of all the years to point this out, you had to choose this one? The same year the only act to actually play their own instruments and attempt to sound original - The Arcade Fire - won Album of the year? The one good call the Grammys have made in years? Did you stop and think for a moment, Steve, that maybe the Grammys actually awarded talent and originality this year? I know, it’s a novel idea. Even I’m amazed!

To add ignorance to insult, you had to use Justin Beiber as your primary example. The same kid whose fans brutalized Esperanza Spalding's WikiPedia page in retaliation for their prepubescent god of shallow teen dreams not winning the same award. Real classy. If this is what represents “an artist that defines what it means to be a modern artist”, it’s comforting to know that mommy and daddy didn’t give in to junior’s tantrums this time.

Other than that, Steve, I have to congratulate you on beating a dead horse. Then having your way with the corpse before shooting it in the head one more time. Great job on being so topical and with the times. Not to mention revolutionary.

One last thing, now that I mention revolutionary: Lady GaGa pops out of an egg and people flip out over this like it’s never been done? Honey, Spinal Tap has you beat by 27 years. Hell, WWE has you beat by 21.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Monday, February 14, 2011

BlogCritics.org - Sunday Morning Coming Down 02.13.11: Death of a (Guitar) Hero

Activision declares the music video game genre dead? Not so fast.

Yeah, you'll see a column staple butchered right off the bat. That will be...slightly fixed from here on out thanks to one of BC's editors not knowing what was going on with that and pissing himself over a fear of being sued for "plagiarism". *Sigh.*

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The Fantastic Four now down to "Three" - Orlando Comic Books | Examiner.com

A look at "Fantastic Four" #587


I've read some of Hickman's run so far. Pretty heady stuff. Including this one. Hype machine aside, there's some damn good work being done on this book.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Nerdapalooza: Revenge of the Nerds | Interviews - Substream Music Press

Five months in the making.

If you're a Nerd Music fan or musician, this is for you. If you don't have clue one what "Nerd Music" is, this is for you, too. If you're getting ready for Nerdapalooza 2011 or are curious as to what it's all about, this is definitely for you.

Sooner than later, it will also be re-printed here. With a different layout and purty pitchers!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Examining the future of comic book movies, part 01: The Green Hornet - Orlando Comic Books | Examiner.com

There’s no way Seth Rogen by himself will bring about the doom of the comic book movie. But his seeming careless waste of the genre to attempt to make himself look like a star is indicative of a bigger problem. (Part 1 of a series)

I was going to do this series here, but then it dawned on me that - hey! I have a Comic Book Examiner page! Let's do this.

And no, this wasn't the series I was talking about doing here. That one's much more lighthearted - and a little more personal.

Linkin Park begin US leg of "1000 Suns" in Florida - Orlando rock music | Examiner.com

Central Florida’s first big rock show of 2011 happens this weekend, as Linkin Park heads for Tampa.

...and I'm not going to be there. Wouldn't mind going, but it's a little short notice and I've seen them before.

Oh, and there's a series coming to this space just as soon as I get the time to write it up. Hopefully it will start over the weekend.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Jon Favreau off of "Iron Man 3" - Orlando Comic Books | Examiner.com

It’s official: Jon Favreau will not be directing Iron Man 3.

Kind of a shame, too. Favreau was definitely a big part of making the first two movies as fun as they were.

And if the Marvel (movie) Universe is really this confused and cheap, this whole thing could be in trouble.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Show Review: Roger Waters, Bank Atlantic Center, Sunrise, FL - 11.13.10



There are several reviews of Roger Waters’s live staging of The Wall already populating the web. Some can’t stop fawning over themselves the historical significance of the show they attended and the tour itself. Others seem to go out of their way to tear down “The Wall” by giving backhanded compliments while pointing out a feeling of dated rock excess in some attempt to seem clever.

None of them seem to get what’s actually happening at all.



It’s very easy for many journalists to not see what’s happening right under their noses. Many of them can’t be blamed, really. When confronted with a show of this magnitude - such as on November 13, the first of a two-night stand in Sunrise, FL at the Bank Atlantic Center - it’s difficult to see the forest for the trees. The show even starts without many people realizing it - there’s a “homeless” man out in the audience. Shopping cart and all. With a sign reading, “No thought control.” His “belongings” consist of a big, pink doll. One that looks a lot like the representation of the main character, Pink, during “The Trial”.

There are several reviews of Roger Waters’s live staging of The Wall already populating the web. Some can’t stop fawning over themselves the historical significance of the show they attended and the tour itself. Others seem to go out of their way to tear down “The Wall” by giving backhanded compliments while pointing out a feeling of dated rock excess in some attempt to seem clever.

None of them seem to get what’s actually happening at all.



But that’s fast-forwarding a great deal. The lights go out and the opening number, “In The Flesh?”, starts out with full pyro regalia. Right then and there, the sensory overload machine has taken off, ready to take the audience on one hell of a ride.



For 67 years old, Waters seemed spry and ready for action himself. He was also much more jovial than die-hard fans would expect. For a man who has given the finger to fans and (especially) journalists alike, Waters was in great spirits during the show. Almost like he was hiding a little secret. The same one that many have missed in writing about the show, but again, that’s fast-forwarding.



Still, for a performer in a terrific mood, he was still flipping the bird to anyone who noticed. Like during “Hey You”, when the audience saw a single graphic projected on to the styrofoam wall built during Act One that now completely hid the performers themselves. Save for the bare minimum amount of animation during the center of the song, the audience still cheered for the fact that the band could have been in the back drinking for all they knew.



There were several moments and moves that could be read that way. The band didn’t start playing in front of the Wall - where they could be seen - until the reprise of “In The Flesh”. More than halfway through Act Two - and more than three-quarters of the way through the entire show. In addition, at the end of that song, Waters played along with the machine gun sounds at the end of the track by taking out a prop machine gun and shooting the audience. Yet another middle finger delivered.



Even if those were deliberate gesture, the main thing to take away here is that it could all be forgiven for what Waters and company presented. When the show was first staged thirty years ago, it was seen as a blow-away presentation, and that was way before technology could catch up with Waters put together for this tour. There was the trademark projection screen behind Waters and the band but, as intimated before, the entire Wall was now being used as a projection screen as well. Never once overlapping or out-of-sync with which portions of the Wall had been built up to any given point, the projections not only fit perfectly, but looked great.



The greatest example of this was during “Bring The Boys Back Home”. Originally an outburst of longing for a father - and many others - lost during World War II (in the context of the album’s story), the song became arguably the best anti-war message that’s ever been delivered on stage. Among images of impoverished, injured, and murdered children all over the world, a quote showed on the screen from Dwight D Eisenhower:

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and not clothed.

After that, the song title: Bring The Boys Back Home.

Not a dry eye was left in the house.



And that’s just an example of how expertly the show was played and staged. The inflatable puppets of the Teacher and the Wife were now six-story-tall animatronics. The graphics were crystal clear and updated for today’s times (including symbols of a Cross and the Star of David mixed with logos for Shell and BMW during “Goodbye Blue Sky”). Each and every aspect of the show was not only a technical marvel, but used to maximum emotional impact, just as the album did for millions of listeners did upon its release despite having one of the most confusing stories for a concept album in history.



Aside from the production wizardry, the band played their parts well. Singer Robbie Wyckoff, used as a stand-in for David Gilmour’s vocal parts, kept up with not only Waters, but the entire production. The band knew their parts as well as the James Brown Revue and performed them equally as well.



Everything about the show was expertly staged. Instead of re-treading what had come before (despite how many people had not seen it), many of the album’s themes were seemlessly brought in to modern times, updating The Wall for a modern audience without losing a shred of anything that made the album great to begin with. It was a perfect reading of an album presented in such a way that the audience left shell-shocked and thoroughly pleased - something many Broadway shows and multi-million dollar films can’t seem to accomplish.



And that is what many reviewers and journalists seem to have missed. In looking to make some grand statement about Waters’s career, the themes that have permeated his work, the greatness of Pink Floyd that many younger audiences missed out on, or even the cynicism of seeing this “old dinosaur” of a piece brought out to the masses in such dramatic fashion, many have missed a very obvious possibility.



Roger Waters is 67 years old. The rumors of this being his last run have been mentioned, but glossed over in favor of political ramblings or attempts at shrewd observations. The rumors of this being his last run may need to be given more credence, because there may never be another stage show that tops what Waters has accomplished with the 2010 tour of The Wall. And really, why should he try? He has no reason to.

It would make perfect sense that, as slyly as he has picked and chose his shots at journalists and audiences over a career that has lasted over 40 years, that an effort like this would be his last grand statement. The amazing music, political statements and thematic cohesiveness that have made The Wall what it is have always been a part of the equation, and they were all given equal attention not only in Sunrise, but on this entire tour. They’ve all come together in one final act by Waters to leave the game on top of his game. No other rock extravaganza will top what Waters has accomplished with this show, and Waters knows it. That accomplishment, while overlooked by many, could very well be what Waters had in mind when he decided to re-build the Wall and tear it down again, perhaps for the final time.